Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Deciphering the truth

I seem to spend a lot of my time at the moment trying to distinguish between truth and lies. We have to tread very carefully to avoid confronting J as she lies automatically, but sometimes it doesn't even need a confrontation. This morning we had a lot of ridiculous talk over packing her swimming gear - she has a lesson at school and one directly after school supervised by a CYFS worker.

Last night I told J what to pack. Then this morning we start off with

me "Have you packed your swimming gear"
J "yes"
then "my mum is coming to the lesson and she's packed everything"

J "can I wear my bikini?"
me (the dragon who prefers 7 year old little girls to dress as little girls) "no take your school swim suit"

J "I can't find it"
(I find it in a few seconds)

all is quiet for a while (excepting the fight over packed lunch box contents)

then as J is about to leave I check her bag and find a bikini in it

J "I didn't put it there"

I think I shouldn't have asked her a question as then she automatically lies - then realise I didn't even ask a question.

I take J out to her waiting car and tell the CYFS worker J has said mum will be at swimming (she's not meant to be) J immediately denies this.

This is very nit picking stuff I know but it just a path we seem to tread constantly with J at the moment.

Still Lily went one better and managed to dupe me totally.

She has now left school and started paid employment (Yeah!) but wishes she was still at school.

She spun both Paul and me a story of how she'd met her old school teacher on the street and he wanted her to pop into school to talk to the kids about something (we probably weren't listening at full capacity here)

So Paul and I agreed she could call in after her time helping out at kindy. I them got a phone call from said teacher saying could we please not let Lily come into school unless it had been arranged beforehand. I still didn't get it and said but I thought this had been arranged.

Lily was soaking wet as it was pouring with rain so Joe kindly picked her up from the school.
I had a quick word with Lily about lying then she had a shower as she was so wet and cold.
Afterwards Lily told me that she had sinned to tell a lie but the shower was her forgiveness.

We have to do some sorting out of both lying and theology for our Lily I think - meanwhile she has stormed off to work today, after not doing her chore of loading the dishwasher, arguing with J (who then screamed as loudly as she could making Isaac cry) and telling us we are the most horrible parents in the world and she wishes she still lived with her birth parents (who looked after her for 5 days!)

On a more positive note, on Monday Lily started paid work - magnificent for someone with DS especially in a recession. She is doing 10 hours a week at Farmers but as its 3 hours 20 mins on Mon Weds and Friday mornings it more or less fills her week

Joe has found a temporary flat but is still here a lot sorting out computer programmes. This has meant that Paul and I have been out for two nights running - unheard of!
We went to see the film Valkyrie ( I went saying "the cinema will be really crowded as its only just been released" - but there were only 12 people there ! I enjoyed the film too -usually I go for films that feature smart American kitchens so this was far from that)
Yesterday we went to a church home group and it was great to have a bit of adult conversation. I hope we can continue to manage to go even once Joe goes to Korea.

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