hurtful comments about Isaac

Isaac got invited to a birthday party at the weekend which was a major first for him. It was held at our local playcentre Lollipops.
We sat down for afternoon tea with about 8 little boys and one rather obnoxious child immediately looked at Isaac and said "He's got a funny face". Mostly children's questions are very open and even cute but this little boy seemed to be coming from a nastier side.
I calmly replied "He's got a funny face because he's got Down syndrome. He takes longer to learn new things"
Then he said "Is he a baby?" I explained how he'd had problems eating and was very small - still with a slightly "off" feeling.
Then when it was time for the birthday boy to open his presents, the nasty boy pointed to Isaac and said "I expect he's bought a baby toy"
Usually stuff like this rolls off my back but I found this little boy very hard - he did continue on asking quite inappropriate questions of other people too and I think some of the adults there were a bit embarrassed by him.
Made me realise we still have a way to go until our children with DS are accepted as we'd wish - thank goodness for the school our boys are at where the other kids are fantastic with he kids with disabilities.
I feel a bit over protective of Issac maybe as he's been through so much and tomorrow he has his sixth surgery this time for grommets and squint. The fostering agency has found another caregiver for A and U for the day and overnight.

goodbye Beth

Beth and James were in Palmy for the last weekend to attend a wedding and say goodbye to us before they move to Sydney on Thursday. This is the same day that Isaac has his surgery for grommets and squint so I shouldn't forget it.
It was great to see them and Beth even started the day (at 6am) by sorting out a squabble between A and U then changing a dirty nappy so she was very welcome!
The boys were having a medical assessment today so I wrote a report which helped me realise what emotional problems they have with relaxing to sleep and the like but also what amazing progress they've made i just a few days here. Both boys didn't have a tantrum when they were dressed the morning and then both said "Get down please" at the breakfast table - two firsts.
We are also understanding more and more of their speech and enjoying listening to them - a "brushteeth" for a toothbrush and a very worried look from U when I said the thing in the newspaper was a crossword as he thought I was angry!
I am learning to make the most of every moment of the day, never going upstairs empty handed and so on. And I so SO enjoy the few minutes a day I have when the boys are asleep. Paul is tending to take over in the evenings now sitting in the boys room doing emails on his I-phone so this means I can heave a sigh of relief at about 7.30 and then crawl into bed soon after 9.00!

sad little boys, exhausted carers

Life is very hectic - it is amazing how exhausting it is trying to constantly give out vibes of calm and reassurance to two traumatised little boys.
They must be settling as they are showing us some pretty massive tantrums now over such things as sitting in a pushchair, getting dressed or having to come for a bath.
I dared to take the double pushchair to the shops today as A was at daycare. A tantrum started in the plaza so we walked calmly (at least I hope it appeared calm when I was holding U's hand to stop him tipping out of the pushchair and Isaac's hand to stop him scratching U as he was so scared by the loud crying)to the square 0 the park at the centre of Palmy. We then had 20 minutes (there is a useful clock there so I could time it)of totally out of control screaming, drooling, leaning out of the pushchair upside down while I tried to talk calmly to Isaac about the ducks round about.
Once the tantrum was over U was back to his very charming self. He's had 5 tantrums today so lets hope we've reached the worst!
U is very attached to a pair of shoes his mum gave him which are too big for him to walk in - but today I managed to buy him a pair that fit (this involved another tantrum I've just remembered but a relatively Small one which didn;t involved needing to leave the shopping centre) I still let him wear the big pair to bed he only needs the new ones on occasions when he has to walk!
It is amazing to see these two little boys changing everyday - they love books and although they're very delayed in language they just love singing songs and trying to talk. They so hate bedtime though - it's a bit sad to wonder why
I have taken to watching Jon and Kate plus 8 as it makes my life seem relatively quiet!

toothbrush to bed

An experienced foster carer once told me she had never known a child come into care and bring a toothbrush. A and U didn't come with a toothbrush of course, neither did they have any toys, socks, undies or much clothes that fitted.
They do however want to squeeze themselves into any clothes that remind them of their mum and the little one U insists on wearing his several sizes too big shoes around the house all the time without socks.
I asked Paul to pick up two battery operated toothbrushes on his way home from work yesterday - since then the boys have barely been separated from them and even slept cuddling them.
Suddenly it seems as if my children have so much.

two sick boys

Our two visitors have arrived the story seems to be changing somewhat especially the "spend all week in day care" bit
The boys are very cute and obviously sad - they have no idea why they left mum. They respond to calming so have obviously had some good parenting sometime.
We had to start by taking them to the holiday programme evening that Noah had attended bit loud and overwhelming.
They were very sad going to bed and U (the two year old) then vomited over all his cot bedding then fell asleep. I thought at first this was just stress but as he repeated it twice in the night and then had very dirty nappy this morning and as his 3 year old brother A is now asleep on the couch with a temperature, it seems it is not just stress but a bug and a reason therefore to not go to daycare but give me a day shut in at home with four boys!!
Beth sent a text last night reminding us that she is in Palmy next weekend and asking where she will sleep!

Gisborne holiday

We had a lovely three nights away in Gisborne - even the five and a half hour journey wasn't as bad as expected although it was still quite an adventure in the dark and rain on the windy narrow road leading from Napier.

We stayed in the Captain Cook motel right by the statue

Just along the beach is the statue of Young Nick (the first person to see New Zealand) Hannah and Noah said "Land Ahoy" by his statue and then at the playground.Isaac had a new first when he was served and ate in a restaurant - we were at the Lone Star and hadn't ordered for him but the waitress asked if she could bring him some ice-cream .

On the way back we stopped at some hot springs

it was a lovely walk through the bush to get to them

then we spent the afternoon in Napier.

On the fostering front, we had a lovely time having J back with us for two nights - it was interesting to hear what she remembered of her time with us. Her court case has still not happened after more than two years but there should be a 9 day contested hearing in July.

We have just agreed to take two little boys aged 2 and 3 for two weeks - they arrive tomorrow afternoon.

Isaac's first Easter egg

It's hard to believe that a year ago Isaac had never eaten. We would never have believed if you'd told us last Easter that this year he would see his Easter egg and do this!
I don't buy the children too much chocolate - they have a small egg from us and a small egg from my mum and dad (and this year Beth sent them one too) - that way I don;t have to spend much of the Easter break policing how much chocolate each person has eaten and which left over bits belong to who. In fact this morning we are just left with 3 tiny chocolate eggs - Lily holds the record for making chocolate disappear the fastest!